Well its been 113 weeks since I've last updated. So here we go. Everybody is horrible people are decaying around me. The stench of death lingers above me. Just got back from florida, took the trip to myself and man did i have a good time. Fished everyday and made all kinds of friends. I'm sad to have left. Maybe sometime i'll move down, but for now i've got to try and submit this fucking fafsa and clean my room. Ok satisfied?

Oh yes, life is still good... Just got back from florida and have a nice tan... got work tonight however but look forward to going in! i didnt run myself into debt and we have plenty of pictures to show... nikkis mom, nikki, and i went out to this great waterfront restaurant last night in bayville, it was awesome, im definitely going back there again, but ABOUT Florida... we hit like 6-8 springs and spent most of our time in southern florida, it was great, my grandmothers doing well and everythings going for the better, cant wait to move down there... ahhh yes life is good!

Ah yes, life is good... im going back to florida in less then a month, however my grandmom is sick, but shell pull thru! im making more money then ive ever made before, and im moving into management in a week! i cant wait til my 2 dollar raise! everythings been goin well, i see nikki in two days! and Man Vs Wild is on... HA ha ha ha haaaaaaaaa! it seems people are only happy when they get what they want...

Well im pretty bored, and i havent posted to this thing in a long time, sooo i figured i might as well... ive noticed that the summer brings back harsh feelings, along with excitement of activities to come, yet im feeling rather angry lately and just unnerved, anxious, and just plain irratible... i think im just wiped out, i need to get a few consecutive nights of good sleep, but oh well... i just want to travel and to say the hell with it! ive got a good lineup for next week, first nikkis comin up on sunday, then on monday we goto the good old jackson family reunion, which is usually lots of fun, we get to fish and kayak and eat, and play guitar... and this year nikkis going! so hopefully this will be fun, but who knows... then nik will be staying over tuesday night and wednesday night is NEW MONSOON night, it will be amazing... probably one of the best bands out there right now... after that we come home sleep on it and the next day nikkis gone and its back to work... then maybe that weekend well do some beaching... but i dunno, i like to lead myself in every direction possible... and just make it by by the skin of my teeth... and i think ive worn it all down, im tired... and i still gotta work til 1! im training myself into management at dominos, so hopefully it pays off and i can pay off my car sometime soon, thatd be nice cuz then i could TRADE IT IN! oh well! GOODNIGHT!

Misery!

aw man these last few weeks have been AMAZING! i went ahead and took my vacation with nik downn in floridia for a week and half, and that was SO DAMN COOL! we went kayaking and there was beer at every stop!!! i went to target, i got a 6 pack and a pair of water shoes at the same time... how crazy is that... anyway, i had a lot of fun with nikki, we saw a duck fight, and other wonders of nature... such as the ding darling wildlife refuge, in sanibel island.. which was the most amazing part of the trip! and MY FAVORITE! we stayed at the La Quinta Inn, which was awesome... they had an amazing pool and a hot tub.. i was just happy to be there, and with that, we saw alligators, and coons, and all kinds of creatures, maybe even a manatee, but i dunno! we went back to blue springs, and even tho its all over... i feel as tho ive accomplished something, even tho i didnt... OH YEAH, Panera came and begged for me to come back!!! if thats not the weirdest thing in the world, i dunno what is! so yeah, i got two jobs, and maybe ill move out soon.. Hmmmmmmmmmmm....

I'm sick... but it hasnt stopped me from trudging around in 8 inches of ice and snow, and having great times... indeedy doo, PA is home!

Oddly enough, today we had a lunar eclipse... which is quite strange being as i felt the moons energy yesterday. and had no idea of the dawning eclipse... so that puts this part of the earth in perfect proportion and alignment with the moon! I DID FEEL IT! i felt the moons aura! in my heart, i am at one with nature...

I had such a good day yesterday... It made no sense to me at all... I woke up at 12:45 PM, washed my body and headed out... went to the bank and got some thums up... after that proceeded to goto sams house... OH and did i mention it was a gorgeous day out! it was like 60 degrees, my word... anyway, sam had a rather spacious apartment, i decided to play with some of her intriguing light toys and some hippoes. It was most excellent, after that we loaded up the cars with papers and plastics and headed out to the RECYCLING CENTER... at first i thought this wasnt going to be a good idea, but it was quite fulfilling! we didnt have too much time to hangout so we drove around went to dollar store, got a bite to eat, and then i went to work... It was still so beautiful out... At this point i popped in some phish and ripped that all day... windows down, phish pumpin and a full moon over head, i was just enjoying everything that was correctly aligned and in place for me that day! nikki got her hair cut, this is also most excellent! i cant wait to go back to florida.. However today im now run down and tired again... damn... oh well!

SOOOO ANYWAY!!! ive had a great time with buds. Jeff turned out to be an excellent friend, hes more honorable then i can possibly mention here on this stupid online journal... Im so excited to be making more friends, even if they are 40 some years old... HAHAH! anyway i ALSO cant wait to return to florida with my baby! so that i will proceed to do! ive also come up with a new resolution that i will open up more to the general public as to be so shut in to the secludes of my own home... SO FRIENDS HERE I COME! and dont worry baby no time will be altered for the spending of you and I!!! I LOVE YOU! PEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAACE is the magic word here...

I've been real stressed lately... If its not my car, its work, and if not work its money, and if its not money its personal... and WHOA MAN! i just gotta find some me time to just chill. I dont feel like a bad guy... but i dont know... somebody please enlighten me... and please do give me a call if you wanna jam... but then again, the only people who read this dont play instruments... there are a lot of people out there that dont know me... this is no good, the world should see more of Ryan Jackson!